(site for working out things in these loping texts without end so to describe events and knowledges half-witnessed and half-described)

s.m. (ver. 2): think of it like a regular map, how a map can be used to trace multiple and contradictory pathways. In addition to this, it is important for maps to be kept up-to-date: when a fence appears where there used to be no fence, for example. the Ordnance Survey or Google LLC will tend to that for you. When the site map is built it will still be unfinished, as its constituent parts swap places and further information comes to light

Kiran Leonard html website 5555 site map further information / inconsistent landscapes / 'terms and conditions': b. 1995, i am from the North of England but left to live in Oxford and then London when i was 18, a decision about which I feel ambivalently. SOUTH PENNINE MAGICAL REALISM. I have problems with beginnings and false starts. There have been some false starts in my life and very few of them pseudonymous, and so it's incumbent upon me to present them as otherwise -- that is, as a clear narrative, to bring them under one roof and stand by them all. If i don't do this -- establish a 'branded narrative' for myself -- I am at risk of falling into obscurity, because if my life's work does not properly cohere I will not be profiled by journalists. And so I am going to make the parts fit together, explaining myself and my career progression, accounting for gaps in the curriculum vitae, declines in profit, etc

note that the all-caps hyperlink above is like a false start chapter one starting from now, August 2023 (before "the moveable backdrop shift[s] and change[s]"). Here is another starting point; choose one or the other, it doesn't matter, they eventually fall under the same strand

this is also a good starting point


I wanted to write the site map (the site map is what you are reading right this second) because last night I dreamed about my grandmother for the first time since she died (the dream was on the night of 20th August 2023), except in the dream she looked as she did in a photograph taken before I was born, in the early 1990s, at the Yorkshire House (Parliament St lancaster). I never knew this pub but she was the licensee there. Above this paragraph is a photo of her old garden, of which I have a few vague memories, but in my memory the garden was larger. At her wake I met some of the old Yorkshire House regulars for the very first time, where they shared with me happy, impassioned memories of her strength of character. "She was the greatest woman I ever knew!" When people who you love are gone you think a lot about what it means to know someone. When friends come together to share their stories, you see aspects of a person you never witnessed. You hear what people were like before you. In the preparation for a funeral and in its wake there is the space to appreciate a life's multiple parallels, to reconcile contradictions. I will be thinking of her and her contradictions when the books I inherited arrive in the post next week. I am now writing more than two months after this paragraph began, in early November 2023. I do not know when or where the books were bought or where they belonged in the narrative of her life, which was often described as 'chaotic'. Its own massive undertaking, perhaps I should instead commemorate these things somewhere else, or, better yet, keep them to myself. For now I am placing these thoughts at the start of the site map, but later it may become relevant somewhere else. The observation will then have to move, replaced by a new fence.

SITE MAP (III): I want to get out of negative blog logic, colonising as it does our self-presentation and patterns of thought. Thank you, Internet, for freeing us from the abecedary, however -- I now want to try and find an organising principle beyond the infinite trough / infinite nowness without newness; the near-instanteous supplantation where nothing can change bcus nothing can take root. At present, the organising principle is upside-down: if you were to read a book beginning with the last chapter and proceeding backwards, there would be nothing compelling you to go back to the start. It is like swimming against the tide. I suppose this site map is like swimming against the tide as well

prog tide

but today is as good a day for swimming as any. 20th August 2023: I have handed in my notice, please let me know if any work comes up (gigs, etc). I mostly write music; as you can tell i cannot really write for literary publications and magazines. step outside of the map now, i think i can get past that, and i have provided enough avenues out in the paragraphs above