FEB 2005 I followed my brother and omar into the prog tide and was carried for years afterward thrashing in their wake -- it is true that you are carried by it, have little choice what direction you go in -- a wayward discoverer might convince themselves they are not travelling in circles if pride is all that guides them and their eyes stay stuck to one paddle -- you will observe how, after heavy flooding, debris rises up to congregate at random in amorphous pools, bearing no fixed relation to the streets and public squares they bob above -- prog tide is like that but because everything is in motion and moving in one direction it all seems predestined, you give little credit to mortal chance -- or, more than that, the direction of travel seems predestined by your own voice, as you travel through the water even faster than vessels which can come to appear stationary -- so much is overtaken, yet not discarded (so misunderstood) -- and so it seems like everything that comes to you comes from you -- you switch the tide on and you switch the tide off -- accumulating themes and variations on what you encounter / articles which become meaningful by the fact that you have deigned to encounter them, and so every article has to be incorporated into the fabric
FAUT-IL BRÛLER FZ?
PROG TIDE / ACCUMULATING THEMES AND VARIATIONS; a lust for both patterns and the spontaneous, without acknowledging any possible contradiction, leading to adolescent and wacky designs -- at first the brain works on the principle of addition, one thing following on from another or put side by side together not contradicting -- it is an accelerated grammar form for producing and imitating content; it produces and imitates very well, develops quickly, but the structure of the phrase is always determined by the next question and the accumulated logic of the structure is determined by the questions it encounters (from within or from without) -- when a question is encountered it has to be closed definitively (yes or no closes the perforations / prog tide submerges perforations, MORE CYMBALS) -- the perforation can only be kept if (de)created by the prog tide rider -- e.g., perforated God, perforated genres / modes of dress / socialisation, i.e., can be kept if the perforation is additive / reinforces the accelerated grammar form of the prog tide rider -- however this structure makes redressing fenced-off questions and perforations very difficult, because the false or tenuous resolution to the question has already remapped the accelerated grammar form -- while it is not true that prog tide diminishes emotional sensitivity (the adolescent does indeed possess a great emotional sensitivity!), its sensitivity is purely additive, with everything arranged on a two-dimensional scale of intensities -- quiet-to-loud, empty-to-dense, simple-to-complicated, sad-to-happy -- everything is x amount of y, and so what we are lacking is the z-axis allowing us to move not up and down the same time/emotional scale but across, over to a different mapping of the self and its works in relation to others
The feeling I remember well (that hasn’t quite gone away) of, God, It's so urgent, it’s so urgent I have to ride this out -- But because the prog tide never goes out, it just advances -- because it sweeps up everything in its path, carries everything along with it and destroys nothing -- it does not produce palimpsests, because in order to do so it would be necessary to erase content, which is not possible in a prog flash flood, u just scribble over faded dark and dense formations, disembody into feedback loops -- the palimpsests necessary to think -- «En lugar de quinientos, decía nueve» -- so I think it’s better now but still I am a little in mourning for how easily things used to come, this ceaseless momentum -- I opened my mouth and everything issued was a gift -- or like as if I once was of prog and now I am of bog -- a sinkhole of errata / no momentum, a silent chamber for the undulating dead, a midnight presence only registered by the smoke rising -- the right stuff, errata gestated if not quite stagnant
